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How to cope with change

Moving house, changing job, getting married or divorced are one of the many elements of change associated with causing high levels of stress in adults. When we feel stressed, we can feel overwhelmed, unable to cope, constantly anxious, preoccupied, tired or irritable. Stress can cause headaches, upset stomachs and long term health issues, so it is beneficial to learn how to cope with change effectively for our long-term mental wellbeing.

The amount of stress we feel depend can on:-

-Our perceptions of the situation (do we interpret things positively or negatively)

-How skilled we are at dealing with pressure

-Our emotional resilience to stressful situations

Young children especially like routine and stability. Change in the form of parental breakups, a new school, a new teacher, moving house or a new sibling can cause stress in children. Their behaviour may change and they may become easily upset, anxious, naughty or regress to habits they had moved on from.

Developing resilience in children

We can help our children develop the tools to cope with change from a young age by developing resilience. Studies have shown that children as young as two years old copy the coping, stress-management and thinking styles of the adults around them. If they can sense that their parents are anxious or worried, they will tend to mimic that. Resilient parents, raise resilient kids.

Helping your child manage change

Here are some top tips to help your child manage change effectively:-

• Smooth the transition by answering all their questions and helping them to mentally visualise the new environment in a positive way.
• Give them plenty of time to think about the change and involve them as much as you can. i.e. take them to see the new house or new school as early as possible. Children adapt better when they know what to expect.
• Let them grieve appropriately for what they are losing. Tell them that it’s ok to have tears and let out their emotions. Listen attentively to their concerns and validate their feelings, so they feel understood.
• Continue to enjoy family rituals – like Fajita Fridays or Sunday roasts to ensure some stability in the family life.
• Be patient, discuss fears and give them time to process the change and at the end, remind them of all the positives.
• Give them more of your time to talk during the transition. Sit with them a little longer at bedtime and give them your undivided attention. Continue to make them feel secure in your love and reassure them that you will be on this new journey with them.
• Try to remain calm and consistent during the period of change, so they can model your behaviour. If you don’t seem worried or anxious, they will adapt quicker.

If you or your child are concerned about how to deal with an impending change in your circumstances, please contact the team at Universal Mindfulness at info@universalmindfulness.co.uk for a chat.